crawl out of your skin
by Paint Me Violent
Summary: He looks at himself in the mirror. And slowly he crawls out of his skin. Companion piece to Countdown.


**Title:** _Crawl out of your skin_

**Summary:** He looks at himself in the mirror. And slowly he crawls out of his skin. Companion piece to _Countdown_.

* * *

><p>He looks at himself in the mirror. He sees himself.<p>

_-xxx-_

He dreams of sepia castle. At first he doesn't get it. It was over. Over…. But now it's back, in his dreams, nightmares, really. He dreams of kisses and whispered words. The voice is familiar and flashes of white and black are also familiar. Faces. Two faces. He wakes up trembling.

_-xxx-_

Days in Hogwarts are bright. He doesn't like them. He can't. Not after comforting sepia dreams. But he doesn't realize it, not yet. He thinks that he doesn't like Hogwarts because there is always something expected of him. He doesn't realize that he has a choice. Someone else does.

_-xxx-_

He looks at himself in the mirror with blind eyes. He sees himself – pale skin, black hair, green eyes… Yet he doesn't see that his cheekbones become a little higher. He doesn't wish to see.

_-xxx-_

He trembles with fright once he opens his eyes. He can't forget it. Blood, screams, pleas, terror. But that wasn't it, no, he trembles because of the realization that some part of him, some foreign, dark, twisted part loved that agony.

Now he lies at night and can't fall asleep. His skin is burning, his blood is on fire, tears are falling down, but his body is frozen. Pain shots through him and his scar burns. He wants to call for help, he wants to open his mouth and scream, but he's bided and no sound comes out of his mouth.

He wills himself to raise his arm and put it on his skin. He tears it away, piece by piece in hope to blind one pain with another. Piece by piece… blood and pain are everywhere.

And then the music fills the room. The soundtrack is his screams.

He wakes up.

_-xxx-_

He sits through the lesson. What is she talking about? Why they are looking at him? What do they want from him? Do they want him to explode with screaming and tear her apart? No, no, he can't, he doesn't have enough strength. He doesn't…

_But you want._

_-xxx-  
><em>

He looks at the clock. Why has it stopped? Where he is? Cats? Why is there a quill in his arm and blood on the parchment? Was it something he said? How could he forget something so easily? What is he doing here?

And why it is so pink? Pink. Pink. It blinds him. Where is sepia? Where is his castle? Where are they? Flashes of white and black? Where are the faces?

Someone, please, stop this.

His voice sounds so harsh, so unfamiliar. What is it? Why is it like this?

He greets his teeth together and scribes on the parchment.

_**He is here. He is always here.**_

_-xxx-**  
><strong>_

He looks in the mirror; he notices something different about himself. Did his skin pale slightly? Or is it something in his eyes? What is it? But he doesn't bother to find out.

_-xxx-_

He walks through the halls, walks, walks and reaches the second floor, girl's lavatory. Chamber of Secrets.

_§Open§_

Dark walls, blood and water and the smell of the dead basilisk – the second year all over again.

But the anger he feels at that moment can't be explained. It feels as if it is something his that has been taken.

_-xxx-_

As he says the charm he's not sure if it's going to work. It was always hard for him to call for a corporal Patronus. He needs a memory, a good memory…

_Pain, scream, power over __him__. _

_Yesss…_

When the faint blue light turns into a powerful form of Spider made of blinding blue light, he gasps in astonishment.

_-xxx-_

He lies in the tent caressing the gold locket. The tips of his fingers gently trace the letter 'S' on the locket. The touches are cool and fleeting like butterflies. But he is the furthest creature from the butterfly.

_-xxx-_

When he looks at Lucius Malfoy, he suddenly remembers the sepia castle and flashes of _white_ and _black_. Impossible.

But_… there is only power and any method to achieve it is suitable_.

_-xxx-_

As he watches the horrible monster fall down to the ground, he thinks that he has been a little bit rush in the past. Well, now he has a whole new life. This time there won't be any mistakes.

_-xxx-_

_He looks in the mirror. And finally he sees himself._


End file.
